I recently had a revelation thanks to some good friends of mine that I have a great deal of respect for. I would like to apologize to my new neighbor who I made a brief reference to in a blog post from April 15th. I humbly expect your forgiveness for referring to you as a dumb ass, featuring a photo of your vehicle stuck in the mud, and making light of the fact that you and your wife like to watch television. Although the references were uncalled for (but without true malice - more a trial by fire initiation hazing), I must say that I believe your response has been rather harsh. I forgive you for all the things you have said about me in public and on the internet. Although I do not expect us to be friends, there is no need for us to be enemies. We both have a lot of work to do and we are all in this together. Please accept my sincere apology. I would respectfully request that you do not malign the character of people I know. I take a great deal of offense to that and I am not at liberty to forgive you for things you say about my good friends.
40 comments:
You are a good man, Mr. Wells :)
He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.
Proverbs 13:3 (NIV) Here's to prayin' that everyone keeps it clean.
On our trip to your area last April, we stopped over night at a KOA in Junction, TX. We saw a huge flock of Yellow Headed Black Birds there. The owners of the RV park said it was not uncommon to see a couple of them, but a huge flock was very, very rare indeed.
cool bird shadows
That was cool John, I have no idea what has gone on with that guy cept the part where you called him a dumb ass. He he.he.. I often think of what people would say if everything on my mind came out. I guess I just got to live with it when I do it... Im not sure Id be as good as you have been, but for what its worth, you showed us how to be when it does happen.. thanks
John, if I remember correctly that gentleman made a few not so kind remarks about some of the poorer people living around the ranch that hadn't made any statements about him and his wife. Now who should really be apologizing? I'd say him. Not everyone can afford what they can, but that doesn't make them better. As far as the Spam goes. I liked it when I was in a LOT better financial shape so you don't need to be poor to eat it. I like it in spaghetti instead of other meats, like it in beer batter bread and with eggs in the morning instead of ham.
I want to be mad because I helped that dude move stuff into his place when I was there in February. I was really pissed that, in my opinion (formed from reading his blog), that I helped somebody who is mean, self-centered, looks down on others, thinks he's "all that' and is (again my opinion) just a cranky jackwagon who takes it out on everyone.
I was mad that I thought I helped someone like that, but then I started thinking...I didn't help that person out, I was there helping my good friends be kind to another person, a person (again my opinion) who couldn't be adult and say "Hey, JW I don't appreciate what you said about me when I got stuck in the mud. How about toning it down?" Nope gotta be childish and attack and name call and degrade all the time now.
But, as I said, a lot of this post comes from reading his blog and seeing how he sees others who are not him.
JW, you've extended the olive branch, not as a gesture for friendship, but a gesture of 'an eye for an eye' let's stop before we're both blind and miserable. Now, let's hope RE sees it and 'tones it down'.
John,
You called him out on the web and now you're apologizing on the web.
That's all well and good in a virtual world.
Unfortunately we live in the real world.
Having lived in the country and in the desert, from my knowledge of human behavior obtained from the school of hard knocks, I don't think it's enough.
You started it online but you need to finish it face to face.
My suggestion is make up some food in that solar cooker of yours, load it up in your truck along with a 6 pack and head over to his place.
There you can make your apology and hopefully bury the hatchet, before attitudes on both sides totally get set in concrete.
This has the potential to escalate into a Hatfield's and Mccoy's situation if not handled.
We know you want to do what's right and to make amends and start over.
Vaya con dios, my friend.
Wow, bickering in the boonies.
I agree with Bill McDonald.
Still, it is unfortunate that sensitivities in some people are way out of proportion.
My late uncle, born in 1910, gave me great advice that I continually fail to heed, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything".
Silence says it all.
Thank you for your input. I have deleated some comments that I felt were not very constructive. I am trying to make amends here and I would prefer that folks keep their comments positive - this is not the forum for a bashing session. If I had been a little more thoughtfull, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
its simple John you made a mistake look him in the eye an apologize.If he has not ever made a mistake before he might not understand .But if he has maybe he will.An remember if someone don't like you thats thier problem.
At least you believe in open communication while "Smiling Dog Earthship" does not allow easy comments.
Keep up the good work.
PS We are all waiting with baited breath to learn how you will roof the greenhouse.
I wonder how quick to forgive your blog readers would be after realizing that they have been referred to as " no-life, apartment-dwelling groupies that frequent his "blog", he can show a couple hundred thousand visitors to his blog and impress dimwits by kissing a cow" BY FNG. If he had a issue with you that is one thing, but character assassination of people he does not even know is inexcusable
Congratulations on finishing the painting. You have really accomplished so much!
I agree with Bill McDonald. Bring the guy a loaf of bread and make nice. Don't have to be friends. Just meet face to face and make up Texan style. It's what neighbors need to do. someday you might need each other out there. and being on the outs with a neighbor is just plain hard to deal with. If he is still a pain after that, at least you will know you did what you could to make it right. At that point, it's his problem.
Leander Linda
Yeah okay. I guess it's the same sometimes here where I live in hill country texas too! But I gotta stand by what I say. Gotta get out the old olive branch. Not easy. And I say this from experience. Makes life easier.
I am John's "Dumbass" person who must use the same road for ingress and egress as him. I have gotten stuck in the mud ONCE, suffered the dumbass comment and the "roaring generator" comment (he lives MORE than two miles away over several ridges and it cannot be heard).
I am the person who has two TVs, DIRECTV a refrigerator, freezer and MOST of the amenities that I WORKED for over forty years to earn and enjoy!
I am the person John made those comments about on this blog.
I am also the person whose wife of 31 years, suffers from BOTH Obsessive Compulsive Disorder AND Bi-Polar Disorder AND is on permanent Social Security Disability.
IT is MY wife who John made fun of: MOCKED, behind her back while she "talked" to insects and animals. Neither of us took his mocking as "good-natured", nor amusing. 32 years of living with someone with these maladies is not amusing, nor good-natured. It is a living Hell for my wife and if talking to insects and animals gives her some peace, than she can do it all day long!
Where I come from, someone who mocks a disabled person, is thought VERY little of.
Nothing physical came of ALL these comments, because this is a small community. That was the only reason.
However, a gesture of peace.... of any sort deserves strong consideration..... as do the comments not deleted, as well as negative comments made my myself.
The world is full of "apartment dwelling" folks, too timid or too over-obligated to break out of that life, no matter how badly they desire to do so. These people latch onto any quirky blog, website or "YOUTUBE" site that feeds their fancy and live vicariously through it.
If you saw yourself in my comments and took offense at them, good! Now do something about it that does not involve complaining about MY comments. Do not live while you are dead....live!
To anyone who may have taken offense at any comments on my blog that they construed to apply to them, I am sorry for that. PARTICULARLY anything regarding "poverty". We fall into that catagory, which is why I write about our experiences honestly.
Regarding John's public apology here and directed TO John: You have done enough to cause me to cease any further comments about you and your life. I will change my headers on my blog tomorrow.
I will NOT delete my comments or entries and I feel you should not as well. This is a chapter of our lives that we need to recall.
Regarding your apology, it is NOT accepted. Not in this format. We adopted Texas as our home in 1979 and though we left it in body for several years, our spirits remained Texan. It is NOT the Texas way to offer an apology in this way and I cannot accept it when offered in this way.
I told all from the very beginning that you would have to delete the post and comments.... now I do not think that a good idea... AND that you needed to apologize to me in person and to my wife in person for mocking her.
You need not bake "goodies", be contrite, or be further embarrassed in front of others. You may come privately and leave immediately, or drink a beer and go. The apology WILL be accepted and all set aside. But it needs to be face to face.
Robert
I am trying to figure out why I feel embarrassed ... and for whom.
This is all so awkward.
:(
Well Robert I guess I am The Terlingua Ranch Local you insulted on your blog. So you eavesdropped on my conversation where I said I felt that John's little house was smart for him and from that you determined that my eyes were empty, I was living as I could, played with adult toys like a two year old with a LOGO set and just came out here to wait to die. While it is not clear to me what you mean by these ramblings, I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling.
Let me set the record strait, I never called you a "dumb-ass", never complained about your generator, never said anything about your wife, only drive that road to visit friends. I doubt you know anything about me or my lifestyle. Yet you felt compelled to judge me in a negative light without any provocation.
Please do not apologise for your inappropriate actions, I don't need it and would not accept it, as for a face to face meeting I strongly suggest you avoid that. Yes I see your actions as confrontational.
For John's readers who may not understand what this post is about, the following paragraph is from Roberts Blog, a friend advised me about it. I suggest you do not read his blog because it may upset you, he expends a large amount of time bashing John, who by the way I have never John say anything bad about Mrs. Robert Earl.
Chuck
"One Terlingua Ranch local in his sixties was sitting at the postal waiting zone… the “Grub Shack” one day last week. Speaking to another resident, he mentioned “CJ” and his teeny-weeny “house”. He called it “smart” to live like that, because it was less to cool, heat & clean. I looked into his empty eyes and saw that no comment was adequate. He had given up and was living as he could, playing with his adult toys, motorcycles with sidecars, like a two year old with a Lego set. Small and simple means no effort need be expended. He and others like him are waiting to die just as much as the old Northeasterners in Boca Raton, eating dinner at three in the afternoon while talking about where to have breakfast tomorrow and who died, or will die next."
Well, thank goodness, I am through.
Whew!
I just finished reading the most negative venom.
I am still embarrassed after having subjected myself to such vile ... vile that seemed to permeate even the most ordinarily mundane of subjects ... but I am also feeling anger, confusion, hurt, poisoned and all sorts of other vulnerable emotions.
Yes, I am still embarrassed ... embarrassed for myself for allowing my curiosity win, and embarrassed for Mr. Wells for being so completely disrespected/misunderstood, and embarrassed for all the others whom I love out there for being ridiculed/shamed, and even embarrassed for the "disrespectful ridiculer" for making such an ASS out of himself.
I think I shall choose to TRY to have pity ... for this person must be blind to his own hate and hypocrisy.
He MUST be ... TRULY blind ... and a paltry, petty, pitiful person.
How so very sad to me.
And, so, I shall pray for him ... but then end this little comment of mine sorta the same way I started:
You are a good man, Mr. Wells ... Nani and I love you, and are proud of you :)
I too live in the country and love it. I have had many neighbors that I wasn't too fond of but I still try to be polite and be a good neighbor. I am a firm believer that good fences make good neighbors( but I realize that might always be possible.)
John, best of luck!!!
Well Chuck...."RET.FL PI" .....like many, I call them as I see them and what I wrote is what I have seen.... many times while you sat spending NO money at the Grub Shack being an expert on all subjects, particularly the ones you know nothing about.
But "for the record" I was included in the conversation I mentioned, you attempted to one-up or "debunk" everything I said to the individual who is just learning about this lifestyle. Your off-the-wall "advice" could cost someone money they cannot afford to waste!
While there are MANY points I could mention where you have been grossly in error, the one from that day that was the most glaring was your comment regarding "air tubes", you stated that they need only be three feet underground to work.
My opinion is that this fallacy was one of your LEAST erroneous statements! For someone of your advanced age, you should have learned years ago that: "It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt!" But you continue.
Also, when you make veiled physical threats toward someone, look in the mirror and note the ravages of that "advanced age".
I reread John's apology this afternoon and found it dignified and sincere.
John, I know that you regretted that post almost immediately and would have rather taken it back or edited it.... but the speed of the INTERNET does not allow us that.
I have done the same many times and have also apologized many times. It is a consequence of the cyber age.
This subject is closed. I will remove my headers that refer to you and will not mention you in a negative context any further. A face to face apology is still required to re-establish any relationship with us, but there is no need to "walk on eggs" when our paths cross.
I will not be returning here and commenting any longer.
Thank you!
Robert
As Robert states "I will not be returning here and commenting any longer" not much point in rebutting his comments. I read through his blog I guess it tells it all. Chuck
I stand before you as a greenhorn, an idiot and a complete moron. JLee and Joe Bob can attest to my inadequacies.
I'd easily be stuck in the mud and make a complete mess of everything. Curse me out, I'd offer a cold beverage and dinner.
There's something more there going on other than just a few words and you have no say or control. People judge you by your actions, words are hollow.
xo, Biggles
From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own. My last comment was meant to be humorous but the timing was in bad taste...I'm sorry.
Oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.
I have the blessing, or the curse, of having empathy ... being able to put myself in other people's shoes ... and this situation really bothers/hurts me.
You can blame the hurt part on being a girl.
While it is nice that Robert finally took the time to re-read your apology, and finally found it to be dignified and sincere ... Mr. Wells, I hope you know this person's acceptance or approval or blessing is not necessary.
He is not God, and he is not your Master.
He does not have any Authority over you.
He is not qualified to make any demands upon how any kind of reconciliation can take place.
And he definitely does not have the power to see into your heart to discern whether or not you are dignifiably and/or sincerely forgivable.
For those of us who have been able to see (objectively) how this has played out ... the proof is in the evidence laid out before us.
I see one slight ... just one slight on your part, Mr. Wells ... that you have taken ownership of, and have apologized for.
On the other hand, I have lost count of how many times you have been viciously sought out, and slandered, on his.
We all know, Mr. Wells, that "you regretted that post almost immediately and would have rather taken it back or edited it."
Robert claims to have some understanding in this regard for he has "done the same many times and has also apologized many times."
He also acknowledges that this is "a consequence of the cyber age, and that the speed of the INTERNET does not allow us that ... you know, to take it back and edit."
However, we bloggers all know that the speed of the internet DOES allow us that ... and I have not seen any effort from Robert to remove those offenses that he has claimed repeatedly to remove, nor have I seen any humble effort from him to take ownership of his own transgressions.
Yes, this subject is closed.
A face-to-face apology is not required on your part ... you should not have to subject yourself to this person's demands or whims, and you should not subject yourself any longer to this person's toxic projections.
And if any re-establishment is to occur in this relationship ... that is if you should even desire one at this point ... it is of my opinion that Robert come to YOU for a face-to-face repentance because his sin is much greater in this unfortunate debacle than yours.
long time lurking reader here. i own property up in lobo valley, attemped to off grid it up, but i don't think we were prepared enough financially to make it happen.
anyway, i really don't think this is anything you two couldn't settle with an 18 pack of budweiser. think about it.
gene
Another for the difference between Women and Men. Multiple paragraphs of empathy vs. a simple suggestion of the 18 pack of Bud. As a woman, I'm still working towards sitting down with people I have issues with over an 18 pack of something, however I'm not so sure I could go for Bud. I do have my limits. Seems a better solution, all in all.
Hello Shadow! I love your blog :0
Sorry for being so long-winded ... I can be passionate at times.
Not sure I'd go for Budweiser either ... but I'd go for a cold cordial glass of honey whiskey to sip on instead :)
Hey, mc, you're on. Perhaps we can learn a thing or two from these guys after all. :)
Heehee .. perhaps ... or maybe I just need to have two or three cold cordial glasses of honey whiskey, and giggle my mouth shut!
I love all you guys ... it's all good; all good :)
I Like Pie
nice john. any animal can fight, only human beings can say "i'm sorry." hope to soon see a picture of you two shaking hands...
As much as I like following your progress on building your vision one unguarded comment does not deserve this amount of blog space.Let's move on!
You said you were sorry, some people just wait for someone to come along and hurt their feelings so they can be the victim. As long as they stay the center of attention it will never end.
I love what you are building.
"i humbly expect your forgiveness" haha...a bit of a slip?
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